Monday, May 25, 2009

New NBA Rules*

What's up bloggers. I'm really pissed off so I figure Ill write a blog while I lie in bed here writing this on my BlackBerry. Yes that's correct. I don't need a $3,000 Mac Book Pro, or sit out side a gay starbucks drinking a frappafuckachino while I think I look important on a laptop. No sir!! I'm in the dark doing it from a BlackBerry!!!

So I've been keeping up with the NBA eastern conference finals. Orlando and Cleveland. Both teams are very good, but Orlando is prolly the king of comebacks! And since I'm residing in Orlando, naturally ill be routing for them, and also cuz they are the underdog. There has been 3 games and orlando is ahead 2-1. If u watched any of those games...the officials have been calling the most asinine calls. Someone farts the wrong way, you'll get called for a technical foul. My condolences to Dwight Howard for refs calling ridiculous stuff on him. Guy coughs and is called for technical left and right. If your not familiar with NBA rules (and believe me I'm still on to find out new ones) , if u get 7 technical fouls (during a season but in this case the finals) u must sit out an entire game. Refs have called 5 technical bullshits in only THREE games on Howard!!! I really think someone payed off the refs so LeBron can play in the final game so NBA can promote him and make money the only way they know how: being greedy jew fuck faces! "Oh we can't have Dwight Howard play in the Finals..he plays on Orlando...pshhh orlando not a profitable team..fuck that!" Watching the officiating was like going to a "basketball school for referees" and these guys where officiating their very 1st game for an elementary school. Christ I could have put ray charles and stevie wonder in these games and they could have done better job then these clowns!!! I'm not really sure they fully understood the game of "basketball". maybe they thought they where going to ref an ice hockey game? Or football? I'm not sure. Because 2 games ago a cat from clev. (After making his own shot) threw the basketball at dwight howard's back when he wasn't looking. I don't care if u play basketball in iraq, underground in a cave with a hoop...that's a technical!! For some reason "no one saw what happened" or maybe they thought it was an "incomplete pass, turnover!" I also didn't know that if your name is LeBron James you where aloud to swap away a ball just before it falls into the hoop. Maybe cuz he wears "23" you are allowed to do what ever u want. Along with lebran missing a layup, then after he misses we call the foul. That's a new one as well. I also discovered a new rule in basketball....that ONLY if ur name is Dwight Howard if u block shots without touching a player while behind the 3pt line and hitting only the ball....u can be called for a foul...and LeBron gets 3 free shots. I'm ALSO learning another cool rule that accidentally elbowing another player in the face while in MID-AIR, is an intentional flagrant 2...then put down to intentional flagrant 1 after reviewing the replay. I felt bad for the cat on Cleveland but....umm wow really?? "Intentional" while in mid air!!?? AFTER reviewing the play???? Did those guys see what WE saw? Did the goofy computer tech add CGI at the last minute?? There might also be a new rule where players who play on Cleveland are allowed to take THREE steps from above the key while holding the ball going to the hoop...I'm not 100% on that one but am double checking my sources. Alright. I've been watching basketball since I was like 7.......I've never seen so much bull shit in only 3 games. The NBA wants to keep Dwight Howard off the court as much as possible. So I predict in game 4 thell call 2 more technical fouls so he can sit out for the entire game 5. Lebron will fake like he was hit in the face and the refs will buy into it like a rich stupid fuck tourist! Then I'm sure they'll make up some stupid crazy shit call where the old ass sport caster goes "ohh woww...I haven't seen that called since '63 when (insert name u haven't heard in ages here) was playing!! I didn't know that was still in the rule book!!" And then you'll see in on sports center for like 3 weeks!! Or maybe you won't cuz the NBA will pay off Stuart Scott not to make any wise cracking jokes! In any case, I really hope the "officials" in the next game take their thongs out of their asses, put on their Larry King seeing glasses and throw away the money that was given too them and ref a FAIR GAME. Let's just once pretend LeBron James wasn't giving you falatio before the game!! Call me old fashon but I'd like to see a fair game without the magic working 50X's harder just to get around 658052 terrible calls!!! I'm pretty sure LeBran doesn't go into the locker room crying like a Kobe (my new word for bitch) after losing a game. LeBron is a mild manner cat, its not like he's gunna start attacking people just cuz he LOST coughKOBEcough. Sorry had to clear my congested throat. Gotta get that checked. Well I think that pretty much does it for this rant/blog/story/news update. Until next time, u might just have yourself thinking: "NBA, Where Ridiculous Happens!"

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