Alrighty so if you are one of those people who haven't been following me on facebook, I moved into a new apartment a few weeks ago. And not by myself. In order to save money I moved into a place with this broad who works at a hospital and sticks tubes down peoples throat to help people breathe, and resuscitates people as well. Please keep a side note of this in your head as I write more to this classic "bones blog".
Let's start off by saying that she works 7pm-7am three days a week. She also likes to drink..and when I say drink..I mean she would make Artie Lange look like a fucking Jonas brother!! Shes always drunk!! I thought I was bad..holy fucking ass! Broad drinks during the day and when ever she has free time. I actually thought she was a hooker. Works odd hours, lives near the worst street called "OBT" and known for its hookers in orlando. And just hangin out wit random fucks! When I first moved in, she was getting ready to go out to a bar to see a band with sum guy. She wanted to know my opinion about her outfit..then she pulled out a flask and was like "where am I gunna put this? I don't have any pockets" I just laughed kinda like when your friend makes a dumb joke about your mom. But she gave me a blank stare like peter griffin! I'm like "ohh u were SERIOUS!? You're actually going to bring a flask to a bar!!? " She's like "yeah I'm not payin the outrageous prices there, u fuckin kiddin me?" I'm like oh okay if that's how u roll thas cool. (Which is actually smart..order like a soda mix your own shit...pretty good idea actually hahaha) But I don't know anyone who carries a damn flask around...especially a chic!! But anyhow the REAL story at hand is this past weekend. Saturday afternoon she comes home with a chic that has a black eye. The girl said she got beat up last night....so LOGICALLY I said "so what u got into a fight at a club or bar last night?" Then my roommate is like "no no no she's only 16." I'm like "ooohhhhh okay I see". Then I just kinda wondered away from the conversation but overheard them talkin about parties and drinking and somehow I heard "we gotta figure out a way to get you into the bar tonight" I'm like whhaaaaaattttttt !!?? While this conv is going on (Robyn is my roommate so ill use her name now instead of "my roommate") Robyn pours herself a jack n coke. It should be noted its about 2 or 3pm saturday. So I walk back into my room and I'm listening to an old school hip hop channel. The next song that comes on is called "I need Drugs" by this individual who calls himself Necro. So the 16 year old comes over to my room "hey I know this song...who does this? I'm like I actually forget..but its an older song" she's like "yeah yeah its called I need drugs right...I used to listen to this song and I know its older. " I was just like "yeah your right....I think its from the 90s". This song came out in 2000. 10 years ago. She was 6 for fuck sake!! I'd also like to point out she's not PR nor Black....she was this skinny blond hair white girl!! Ok so a 16 year old girl likes to drink...and does a lot of drugs apparently. Maybe this broad needs to make an appearance on MTV. What show!? Fuck if I know any show on mtv!?!? I don't watch MTV. Last time I watched that shit Carson Daily was hosting a show entitled "TRL" and massive kids would be in times square watching videos...holy shit!!! That's right VIDEOS!!!!!! Who woulda thought a television station with the word "music" in its title would really play music!?? That's a hard concept to grasp! But anyhow these 2 broads left short after and I'm like "have fun!" I had to fucking stop myself for a moment....damn what the fuck did I get myself into....fuck me!! Moving here was probably not the smartest idea considering this chic used craigslist to post the listing :-O I probably should have posted "lookin for decent chic with place to live with, in exchange ill fuck the SHIT outta you every month like no ones business...must send picture in email" That's how u SUPPOSE to use craigslist! Then I coulda layed the pipe and have free rent! Ok now let's skip to sunday evening. I just got done playin modern warfare 2 and it was like 9pm. I get a text from this broad saying "hey I'm at the bar, come on over and shoot some pool with me" so I'm kinda hesitant and didn't really want to....so I'm like "I dunno maybe...who are u there with?" She wasn't there with ANYONE just by herself!!!!!!! Yeah so we're not an alcoholic at all! So I'm like fuck it ill go since its right down the street. I get there and she's racking the pool table, already drank half a pitcher of beer herself! So I ordered a pitcher for myself since she drinks piss water, bud light, which I can't stand. I'm like how long u been here for? She told me she just got there when she texted me. I'm like ooookkay then. So we played pool, for about 3 hours. A person who wants to play pool...u would THINK knows how to at least PLAY pool right!?? Or be decent? Yeah....this broad has NO FUCKING CLUE!!!!! She just knows one person is stripes and the other is SOLIDS!! So I played by ACTUAL rules while I let her play "hit the ball and if it goes in it counts". So by now Ive drank a pitcher of beer and about 3 or 4 long islands. the tab was about 40 bucks and I offered to pay half...but she was so blitzed she's like "no! Just pay the tip" so I left a 10 spot (which wasn't that great of a tip but whatever its all the cash I had) So now we get back to the crib (by separate whips, but it was like a 2 min drive) and we r both trashed...this chic pours herself a jack n coke!!! She's already had a pitcher, and like 3 vodka n sprites. So I poured myself one cuz I didn't wanna look like a bitch. Let's write what happened next in parts...
1. Wrestled
2. I felt her up like a rapist (no I didn't RAPE, nor do I condone raping..isaid LIKE)
3. Made out on the couch while I tried to F her, but god denied cuz she's like "I don't think u can handle this!" Oh BTW broad is skinny (by my standards) prolly weighs a between a buck 110 and a buck twenny.
So after she said this I laughed in her face and said "ME?? Not Handle YOU????!! Ahha funniest thing I've ever heard! " Then I was like "cmon we should just get it over with...cuz i know u like me" then she's like "yeah I'm human I'm attracted to you!" I'm like woooowww this broad is soooooo sleazy!! Then I was like "ok then, then I grabbed her and tried to pull off her pants hahahah...yeah that wasn't the best thing to do..but anyway it should be well noted...this chic isn't that good lookin and I told my friends I wouldn't fuck her sober...I prolly would drunk tho" ahahaha so damn true tooo! Also its good I actually DIDN'T fuck her cuz my ass was fresh out da jimmy caps, and if did, I woulda tapped dat ass raw dog like DMX. Then my dick would feel like someone poured battery acid on it, and would have an unknown unheard of new STD that would have to be named after me "B.O.N.E.S" (Better Off Not Erect Syndrome) meaning every time your ass gets an erection, feels like your dicks on fire..but if u not erect u all good. Yeah but I went to bed like 430, 5am!? And its SUNDAY and I had work at 8am. Awesome...I woke up at 9am...look @ my watch "No fucking way!!!!!!!" I jumped outta bed faster than Tony the Tiger on meth!!! Which reminds me...I don't think he was eating frosted flakes....he was SNORTING frosted LINES! Or maybe the "frosted flakes" was really coke covered flakes. So yeah I get to work like almost 2 hours late!! We don't actually do work for the first 2 hours anyway...so it wasn't that big of a deal. U know I just space out for a good hour and half anyway....I'd say in any given day I do probably about 10 mins of good solid hard work! So that entire day I felt like 2 trains collided into me and took about 7 diarrhea dumps....my toilet was gettin more ass then a gay night club! Also when I got home that day...she was already wasted!!! She was "tryin" to show me how to cook pork on a charcoal grill. I don't think its the best idea to be drunk...and using lighter fluid, and fire. We have a porch outside and its WOODEN!! She was adding lighter fluid to the fucking already lit coals and flames would JUMP into the air right next to the wood!! She's tellin me not to worry cuz she's been doing this for years. I'm like okay if u say so. But really in the end she cooked some tasty ass honey mustered flavored pork!!! Hella props for the alcoholic broad who can cook drunk!! So after we ate I layed down and started to blog THIS very story u are reading right now!!!! Holy christ. My weekend was anything short of insane!! This is just blog one....I'm sure ill have more. But what I'm thinking of doing, is creating a twitter account called "ShitMyRoommateSays" kinda like this one guy who tweets what his dad says, and he calls it "ShitMyDadSays" its actually funny as fuck! Its this guy who's like 27, and his dad is really old..like late 60s early 70s and his dad lives with him. So every time he says something funny, he posts the quote on his twitter! So there u have it....oh I'm sorry need to mention a few things....remember in the beginning I stated she helps people in the hospital and tries to save lives!??? Would u REALLY want this crazy ass broad be the one to help you when u can't breathe or about to die!!!!????? FUCK OUTTA HERE!!! That's y she lives in FL. Oh and in case your wondering y the fuck would someone like this who makes prob a lot of money live in an apartment and need a roommate??! Hahaha get ready...cuz I have this covered. And when I found out...it didn't surprise me in the LEAST!!! But still pretty fucked up. This is why:
* She had a DUI not long ago
* She is paying off student loans
* She is seeing a Psychiatrist
* Needs to pay for AA and a drug to help her quit smoking
I fucking shit u not this is the person I live with. Now let me leave you with a quote...or a TEXT, rather, she sent me LAST night!!! (Straight copy n paste)
"well get some sleep. its late. I kinda want to snuggle with u. Thats fucken weird, Right!" -Robyn
What the FUCK!?!!! Alrighty I'm done with this blog....so get @ me with your input/comments hahahah PZ Out Bloggers!!!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Friday, December 25, 2009
What Decade is this...
Alright. Think of Billy Joel when you read the following:
Berlin Wall, Golf War, Invasion of Kuwait, World Wide Web
No More Soviet Union, Internet more popular then the television,
Hubble Telescope, sheep getting cloned, high on smack and dope
PCP, PCs, CDs, DVDs, and MP3s, high speed DSL, and watching Keenan and Kel
Super Nintendo, Sega Genisis, Mortal Komat, Pokemon, Doom and Quake, then Sony PlayStation Rules all of this.
Microsoft Windows, Politicians doing Blow, Al Gore, MTV, still at war, Clinton caught with a whore.
Hip Hop, pop music, Britney SPears, Outing Queers, n Sync and Backstreet boys while Goth Music is considered noise,
Princess Di, Dr Suess, River Phoenix, John Candy, Richard Nixon, Red Foxx And Bob Ross
George Burns, Biggie Smalls, 2pac, Mickey Mantel and Joe Dimaggio
Kurt Cobain BLEW HIMSELF AWAY, WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY!
Movies using GGI, Jurassic Park, Titanic, Terminator 2, Toy Story 1 and 2, Star Wars flicks, doin crazy tricks in The Matrix
Independence Day, CG Alien, Forrest Gump along with Lieutenant Dan.
Tiger Woods, Ken Griffey Jr, Tanya Harding, Nancy Karagen, and Michael Jordans back again
Shaquille O Niel, Courts Appeal, steroids, Venus and Serena, Wachovia gets its own arena
Lance Armstrong, Wayne Gretzky, Sosa n McGuire fighting for the top, while WcW is a Flop.
Magic Johnsons HIV, crazy Charles Barkley, Dennis Rodmans hair, i dont really frickin care!
Soccer moms, mini vans, SUVs and Beanie Babies
Talking Furbies, Tickle Me Elmo, Tai Chi and also fighting Tai Bo.
Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, Breakfast Cereals, Beavis and Butt Head, bad movies like Judge Dred.
Seinfeld, Baywatch, AL Bundy, and Friends, x-files is sci-fi, Simpsons and the Family Guy.
I will have an update for '00-'09. All the shit that happened then. :-)
Berlin Wall, Golf War, Invasion of Kuwait, World Wide Web
No More Soviet Union, Internet more popular then the television,
Hubble Telescope, sheep getting cloned, high on smack and dope
PCP, PCs, CDs, DVDs, and MP3s, high speed DSL, and watching Keenan and Kel
Super Nintendo, Sega Genisis, Mortal Komat, Pokemon, Doom and Quake, then Sony PlayStation Rules all of this.
Microsoft Windows, Politicians doing Blow, Al Gore, MTV, still at war, Clinton caught with a whore.
Hip Hop, pop music, Britney SPears, Outing Queers, n Sync and Backstreet boys while Goth Music is considered noise,
Princess Di, Dr Suess, River Phoenix, John Candy, Richard Nixon, Red Foxx And Bob Ross
George Burns, Biggie Smalls, 2pac, Mickey Mantel and Joe Dimaggio
Kurt Cobain BLEW HIMSELF AWAY, WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY!
Movies using GGI, Jurassic Park, Titanic, Terminator 2, Toy Story 1 and 2, Star Wars flicks, doin crazy tricks in The Matrix
Independence Day, CG Alien, Forrest Gump along with Lieutenant Dan.
Tiger Woods, Ken Griffey Jr, Tanya Harding, Nancy Karagen, and Michael Jordans back again
Shaquille O Niel, Courts Appeal, steroids, Venus and Serena, Wachovia gets its own arena
Lance Armstrong, Wayne Gretzky, Sosa n McGuire fighting for the top, while WcW is a Flop.
Magic Johnsons HIV, crazy Charles Barkley, Dennis Rodmans hair, i dont really frickin care!
Soccer moms, mini vans, SUVs and Beanie Babies
Talking Furbies, Tickle Me Elmo, Tai Chi and also fighting Tai Bo.
Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, Breakfast Cereals, Beavis and Butt Head, bad movies like Judge Dred.
Seinfeld, Baywatch, AL Bundy, and Friends, x-files is sci-fi, Simpsons and the Family Guy.
I will have an update for '00-'09. All the shit that happened then. :-)
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I Remember....
Alright everyone take a look over here
Stand up and put down your favorite mug of beer.
I'm gunna take u back to the good ol days
Back when u were Rockin leather jackets like happy days,
And players hit real home runs like willie mays
Remember when there was no CGI
Bad guys got away scott free without CSI
Watchin miami vice after dinner eatin,
Then learned a lesson from alex p keaten
I remember Disney made good flicks like aladin and the lion king
No american idol where everyone thinks they can sing
TV was actually worth your prime time
And it was cool to get on nickelodeon for that gooey green slime
Movie effects where done very poorly
But everyone wanted to be like funny cop axel foley
U didn't wanna be runnin from COPS singin BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS...
Less u thought they where will smith n martin lawrence from BAD BOYS
You went to bed with a buddy named glow bug
U didn't have baggy pants wantin to be a hardcore thug
Because you had Teddy Ruxpin and lite bright
tellin girls "come dream with me tonight"
Everyone had the famous block called lego
And the hot phrase was "hey lego my ego"
Ill even take u back to the after school snack
Twinkies and the round fruit roll ups
Drinkin kool aid outta party cups
Remember JD Roth on Fun House,
And the american tail of a talkin mouse?
Well go back in doc browns time machine
Fighting crime like a mutant teen
And wantin to paint your face green
I liked the days of no 360 or PS3
U in cally and I'm in PA!?
Dag dude, aint no way that we can play
You had to invite your friend over the traditional way!
If u got kids u always have to say
"Well back in my day.."
If you where rich u had the Zack Morris cell phone
And no one had the hottest ring tone
If u wanted to hook up u actually had to have game and meet at your place
No options to just go on myspace
And end up stranded on 1st base
Cuz her picture wasn't even her real face!
Let's fast forward to the current date
High School reunions are going to be obsolete,
Old bully from high school finds u on facebook, just hit delete.
Aint no real reason to actually meet!
iphones and blackberrys make everything a lot more easy
But at the same time can make a grown man sleazy
Like textin teens tryin to get em out they dress
Amazing how u can get out of a traffic mess,
Break out that trusty slick GPS
type in the address u even get corrections
No need to ask pizan for bad directions!
Blockbuster is doing some shady tricks
Gettin put outta business by online place called Netflix
Watch the latest movie with 3 easy clicks
Would u like to show an old friend a picture?
No problem, upload it to Flickr
This option makes it a heck of a lot quicker
You just found out your boss is making u work late and can't watch your favorite tv show,
not a problem cuz that's why someone invented TiVo
Enabling you to watch prime time on your own dime.
Ghotbusters used to be the best exterminator,
Now california has its own terminator
And it seems heaven sent we now have a black president..... who's making very smart CHANGES and REARANGES
Even Back in '96 tupac said he wanted "changes"
"We gotta make a change. Its time for us as a people to start makin some changes. let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live, and let's change the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't workin so its on us to do what we gotta do...to survive "
I remember great stuff like nick at night
and no one promoting any internet site
Biff always wanted to know if anybody was home
While u played with a NERF toy made outta foam.
Parents never let u see an R rated tape
So u watched cartoons in your superman cape
U can't forget those raisins who heard it through the gape vine
And Marty McFly going back in time
Along with McGruff tellin you to take a bite outta crime.
I Remember videos actually played on MTV
And that crazy VJ named Bill Bellamy
The boys used to love watchin their Rock n Jock
While all the girls went nuts for New Kids on the Block
U said off the wall things from beavis n butt-head
and thought everything was "EXCELLENT!" from Bill and Ted
Let's go back to when lucas was the only one to own the power glove,
And the big kids in arcades showing u no love.
Bart Simpson would always say, "don't have a cow man!"
And Al Bundy had his own club called "No Ma'am"
Now u sit back and watch re-runs of Viva La Bam
Toll booth willie always wanted u to pay,
then his customers would curse at him and drive away
Everyone was amazed by Jurassic Park,
Then you went to bed after the show Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Everyone knew Denver was the last dinosaur,
And the guy sayin "Buler" was such a bore.
GI Joe taught you that knowing is half the battle,
Then this show Hey Dude showed u how to ride a saddle.
Camp Anawanna, we hold you in a hearts,
But there was no way you would share your favorite pop-tarts
I remember that tasty gum named bubble yum
and when kids wore these shirts that read B.U.M.
I can't say I was coo coo for cocoa puffs
But I do remember pee wee gettin hauled away in hand cuffs.
And I bet no one remembers the sarcasm of Christian Slater in that movie Kuffs
Bob Saget always showed you home videos,
And that animated bee always wanted u to buy his cheerios!
Go on an adventure with Chip n Dales
Then stay for scrooge mcduck and his duck tails
Jim Henson was known for his fraggle rock
Then on halloween you dressed up like a silverhawk
Levar Burton didn't want you to take his word for it,
But MC Hammer thought he was too legit to quit.
I remember when Kriss Kross wanted to make you jump,
And everyone had to have the latest Reebok pump
Just when you thought u could drop outta school
Mr T would step in and Pitty the Fool!
Stand up and put down your favorite mug of beer.
I'm gunna take u back to the good ol days
Back when u were Rockin leather jackets like happy days,
And players hit real home runs like willie mays
Remember when there was no CGI
Bad guys got away scott free without CSI
Watchin miami vice after dinner eatin,
Then learned a lesson from alex p keaten
I remember Disney made good flicks like aladin and the lion king
No american idol where everyone thinks they can sing
TV was actually worth your prime time
And it was cool to get on nickelodeon for that gooey green slime
Movie effects where done very poorly
But everyone wanted to be like funny cop axel foley
U didn't wanna be runnin from COPS singin BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS...
Less u thought they where will smith n martin lawrence from BAD BOYS
You went to bed with a buddy named glow bug
U didn't have baggy pants wantin to be a hardcore thug
Because you had Teddy Ruxpin and lite bright
tellin girls "come dream with me tonight"
Everyone had the famous block called lego
And the hot phrase was "hey lego my ego"
Ill even take u back to the after school snack
Twinkies and the round fruit roll ups
Drinkin kool aid outta party cups
Remember JD Roth on Fun House,
And the american tail of a talkin mouse?
Well go back in doc browns time machine
Fighting crime like a mutant teen
And wantin to paint your face green
I liked the days of no 360 or PS3
U in cally and I'm in PA!?
Dag dude, aint no way that we can play
You had to invite your friend over the traditional way!
If u got kids u always have to say
"Well back in my day.."
If you where rich u had the Zack Morris cell phone
And no one had the hottest ring tone
If u wanted to hook up u actually had to have game and meet at your place
No options to just go on myspace
And end up stranded on 1st base
Cuz her picture wasn't even her real face!
Let's fast forward to the current date
High School reunions are going to be obsolete,
Old bully from high school finds u on facebook, just hit delete.
Aint no real reason to actually meet!
iphones and blackberrys make everything a lot more easy
But at the same time can make a grown man sleazy
Like textin teens tryin to get em out they dress
Amazing how u can get out of a traffic mess,
Break out that trusty slick GPS
type in the address u even get corrections
No need to ask pizan for bad directions!
Blockbuster is doing some shady tricks
Gettin put outta business by online place called Netflix
Watch the latest movie with 3 easy clicks
Would u like to show an old friend a picture?
No problem, upload it to Flickr
This option makes it a heck of a lot quicker
You just found out your boss is making u work late and can't watch your favorite tv show,
not a problem cuz that's why someone invented TiVo
Enabling you to watch prime time on your own dime.
Ghotbusters used to be the best exterminator,
Now california has its own terminator
And it seems heaven sent we now have a black president..... who's making very smart CHANGES and REARANGES
Even Back in '96 tupac said he wanted "changes"
"We gotta make a change. Its time for us as a people to start makin some changes. let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live, and let's change the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't workin so its on us to do what we gotta do...to survive "
I remember great stuff like nick at night
and no one promoting any internet site
Biff always wanted to know if anybody was home
While u played with a NERF toy made outta foam.
Parents never let u see an R rated tape
So u watched cartoons in your superman cape
U can't forget those raisins who heard it through the gape vine
And Marty McFly going back in time
Along with McGruff tellin you to take a bite outta crime.
I Remember videos actually played on MTV
And that crazy VJ named Bill Bellamy
The boys used to love watchin their Rock n Jock
While all the girls went nuts for New Kids on the Block
U said off the wall things from beavis n butt-head
and thought everything was "EXCELLENT!" from Bill and Ted
Let's go back to when lucas was the only one to own the power glove,
And the big kids in arcades showing u no love.
Bart Simpson would always say, "don't have a cow man!"
And Al Bundy had his own club called "No Ma'am"
Now u sit back and watch re-runs of Viva La Bam
Toll booth willie always wanted u to pay,
then his customers would curse at him and drive away
Everyone was amazed by Jurassic Park,
Then you went to bed after the show Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Everyone knew Denver was the last dinosaur,
And the guy sayin "Buler" was such a bore.
GI Joe taught you that knowing is half the battle,
Then this show Hey Dude showed u how to ride a saddle.
Camp Anawanna, we hold you in a hearts,
But there was no way you would share your favorite pop-tarts
I remember that tasty gum named bubble yum
and when kids wore these shirts that read B.U.M.
I can't say I was coo coo for cocoa puffs
But I do remember pee wee gettin hauled away in hand cuffs.
And I bet no one remembers the sarcasm of Christian Slater in that movie Kuffs
Bob Saget always showed you home videos,
And that animated bee always wanted u to buy his cheerios!
Go on an adventure with Chip n Dales
Then stay for scrooge mcduck and his duck tails
Jim Henson was known for his fraggle rock
Then on halloween you dressed up like a silverhawk
Levar Burton didn't want you to take his word for it,
But MC Hammer thought he was too legit to quit.
I remember when Kriss Kross wanted to make you jump,
And everyone had to have the latest Reebok pump
Just when you thought u could drop outta school
Mr T would step in and Pitty the Fool!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
"REALITY" Shows That Are NOT REAL
This blog is going to be about those shitty shows you see on TV that are called "reality" when in fact they should be called "Advanced Game Shows". There is nothing REAL about douche bags living in a house or on an island with cameras on and doing "challenges". Since when would u and a roommate live together, then all of a sudden, get a letter on your door from your landlord stating you and your roommate MUST dress as the village people and go down town and try to collect money for Gay Rights. And if you didn't you would get kicked out. Pretty sure that hasn't happened to me. although i might have gotten a similar note saying if i dont pay $700 by the 1st, i can start looking for other places to live" Ive been watching NBC lately and ive seen these adds for this "SHOW" and im using that term SHOW very LOOSELY because its called "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!" Funny because when i saw the add on TV, i didnt see ANY "celebrities". I seriously thought it was a joke show, since i was watching conan when i saw it. Then during the commercial break i see an add for it AGAIN....im like no FUCKING WAY this is a REAL SHOW?!?!?!???? SO i went to NBC.com and saw it was one of NBCs new shows in their line up! WOWW SO i clicked on it, and i shit u not, this is the cast of "Celebrities" that are given:
Heidi Montag
Janice Dickinson
John Salley
Lou Diamond Phillips
Sanjaya Malakar
Spencer Pratt
Patti Blagojevich
Stephen Baldwin
Torrie Wilson
and finally,
Frangela
Now, ive HEARD of some of these people and based from THIS "lineup" of people ive NEVER heard of 4 of those people. NONE of these people have done ANY movies (well maybe except for Stephen Baldwin, but when the FUCK did u ever go "oh yeah that movie with Stephen Baldwin was fucking EPIC! if you did his role was VERY small and it was well over 10 years ago which hardly qualifies this douche has a celebrity) Now lets break down this list of people. (btw, i had to WIKI like 60% these people to find out WTF they where in or are "FAMOUS" for)
Heidi Montag- stupid ass blond broad on this FAKE tv show called THE HILLS that everyone knows is SCRIPTED and not a REAL "reality show" (this person isnt a celebrity, since this show is FAKE)
Janice Dickinson- An Ugly ass old broad who ironically has been on a show called Americas Next Top Model and judges woman who are more then half her age to say if they are models are not, when SHE herself looks like a fucking DEAD FISH trying to breathe that last breath of air after its been caught. (this person is not a celebrity by being able to tell if other woman are models are not)
John Salley- This guy i actually USE to like, hes a former NBA basketball player and use to be on a show called "BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD" which was really good. (this person doesn't qualify as a celebrity because all this guy does is sports shows, and use to play for the NBA.
Lou Diamond Phillips- guy was popular in the 80s and 90s for TV and shitty movies....yeah maybe if this was the 80s or 90s he COULD qualify as a celebrity, but its 2009, so um.....NO
Sanjaya Malakar- All this guy is known for is being a REALLY shitty singer on American Idol a few seasons ago and somehow got 7th place due to fuck faces voting for a terrible person as a joke. And shitty i really mean absolutely terrible. Like if this guy where to sing in front of Record Label excecs, they would want to have who ever gave this guy a microphone murdered....Saprono Style. This guy gets my vote as "THE FUCK OUTTA HERE" for a celebrity.
Spencer Pratt- again, ANOTHER guy from this stupid ass show called THE HILLS, a FAKE reality show that is scripted and the acting is terrible. BTW, if u ever watch this AWESOME TV show on E! called THE SOUP, this fella Spencer gets made fun of CONSTANTLY just about EVERY episode and is known for his "Creepy Flesh Colored Beard" NO NO NO and NO as a celebrity
Patti Blagojevich- Wife of a former CROOKED politician Rod Blagojevich, you know that stupid cock face that has a wig that looks like the ass end of a skunk?!! HOW IN THE FLYING ASS COCK is this stupid cunt even REMOTELY considered as a goddamn CELEBRITY!!!??!!! jesus H christ!
Stephen Baldwin- ummm yeah enough said
Torrie Wilson- apparently shes famous for being on WWE. I dont watch wresting. SO i guess she was popular in the early 2000s then did a shoot for playboy. Oh yeah that DEFINITELY qualifies her as a celebrity. The ONLY reason she was on WWE is cuz shes got a GREAT body, is blond so all the little boys watching could get a hard on and would tune in to watch just for her. NEAT. yeah super, any dumb fucking broad can do that
Frangela- Anyone know? i really have no idea....i tried to wiki this broad said she does comedy and was featured on that show BEST WEEK EVER....u know...shit thats on VH1....VH1 a Reality show channel that USE to compete in the 80s and 90s with MTV playing these things called umm... MUSIC VIDEOS. for you people that where born in the late 80s and only remember MTV...the VH1 stood for "Video Hits #1" oh and on a side note......MTV actually stands for "Music Television" they need to just change that to RSTV, or STV, meaning Really Shitty TV, or Shitty TV. Last time i watched MTV, Carson Daily was Hosting this VIDEO show entitled Total Request Live. aka TRL
Well there u have the "STARTING LINE UP" of complete non-celebrities. This show should actually be called one of 3 things:
"Im NOT a Celebrity, GET Me Off TV!!"
"Im NOT a Celebrity, NO ONE CARES!"
"THIS IS A BULL SHIT SHOW ONLY DUMB FUCKS WILL WATCH!!"
FYI, NBC is the LAST PLACE network, and putting THIS on TV, executives think people will watch this?! Well....im sorry....thats my fault, this is america.... 90% of Americans are fucking retarded and have an IQ lower then their shoe size. So if its on TV people will watch it.....i just dont fall into the 90% i fall into the 10%, and if your reading this....im putting YOU into the 10% as well cuz you prolly know me perosnally and have common sense ;-)
Heidi Montag
Janice Dickinson
John Salley
Lou Diamond Phillips
Sanjaya Malakar
Spencer Pratt
Patti Blagojevich
Stephen Baldwin
Torrie Wilson
and finally,
Frangela
Now, ive HEARD of some of these people and based from THIS "lineup" of people ive NEVER heard of 4 of those people. NONE of these people have done ANY movies (well maybe except for Stephen Baldwin, but when the FUCK did u ever go "oh yeah that movie with Stephen Baldwin was fucking EPIC! if you did his role was VERY small and it was well over 10 years ago which hardly qualifies this douche has a celebrity) Now lets break down this list of people. (btw, i had to WIKI like 60% these people to find out WTF they where in or are "FAMOUS" for)
Heidi Montag- stupid ass blond broad on this FAKE tv show called THE HILLS that everyone knows is SCRIPTED and not a REAL "reality show" (this person isnt a celebrity, since this show is FAKE)
Janice Dickinson- An Ugly ass old broad who ironically has been on a show called Americas Next Top Model and judges woman who are more then half her age to say if they are models are not, when SHE herself looks like a fucking DEAD FISH trying to breathe that last breath of air after its been caught. (this person is not a celebrity by being able to tell if other woman are models are not)
John Salley- This guy i actually USE to like, hes a former NBA basketball player and use to be on a show called "BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD" which was really good. (this person doesn't qualify as a celebrity because all this guy does is sports shows, and use to play for the NBA.
Lou Diamond Phillips- guy was popular in the 80s and 90s for TV and shitty movies....yeah maybe if this was the 80s or 90s he COULD qualify as a celebrity, but its 2009, so um.....NO
Sanjaya Malakar- All this guy is known for is being a REALLY shitty singer on American Idol a few seasons ago and somehow got 7th place due to fuck faces voting for a terrible person as a joke. And shitty i really mean absolutely terrible. Like if this guy where to sing in front of Record Label excecs, they would want to have who ever gave this guy a microphone murdered....Saprono Style. This guy gets my vote as "THE FUCK OUTTA HERE" for a celebrity.
Spencer Pratt- again, ANOTHER guy from this stupid ass show called THE HILLS, a FAKE reality show that is scripted and the acting is terrible. BTW, if u ever watch this AWESOME TV show on E! called THE SOUP, this fella Spencer gets made fun of CONSTANTLY just about EVERY episode and is known for his "Creepy Flesh Colored Beard" NO NO NO and NO as a celebrity
Patti Blagojevich- Wife of a former CROOKED politician Rod Blagojevich, you know that stupid cock face that has a wig that looks like the ass end of a skunk?!! HOW IN THE FLYING ASS COCK is this stupid cunt even REMOTELY considered as a goddamn CELEBRITY!!!??!!! jesus H christ!
Stephen Baldwin- ummm yeah enough said
Torrie Wilson- apparently shes famous for being on WWE. I dont watch wresting. SO i guess she was popular in the early 2000s then did a shoot for playboy. Oh yeah that DEFINITELY qualifies her as a celebrity. The ONLY reason she was on WWE is cuz shes got a GREAT body, is blond so all the little boys watching could get a hard on and would tune in to watch just for her. NEAT. yeah super, any dumb fucking broad can do that
Frangela- Anyone know? i really have no idea....i tried to wiki this broad said she does comedy and was featured on that show BEST WEEK EVER....u know...shit thats on VH1....VH1 a Reality show channel that USE to compete in the 80s and 90s with MTV playing these things called umm... MUSIC VIDEOS. for you people that where born in the late 80s and only remember MTV...the VH1 stood for "Video Hits #1" oh and on a side note......MTV actually stands for "Music Television" they need to just change that to RSTV, or STV, meaning Really Shitty TV, or Shitty TV. Last time i watched MTV, Carson Daily was Hosting this VIDEO show entitled Total Request Live. aka TRL
Well there u have the "STARTING LINE UP" of complete non-celebrities. This show should actually be called one of 3 things:
"Im NOT a Celebrity, GET Me Off TV!!"
"Im NOT a Celebrity, NO ONE CARES!"
"THIS IS A BULL SHIT SHOW ONLY DUMB FUCKS WILL WATCH!!"
FYI, NBC is the LAST PLACE network, and putting THIS on TV, executives think people will watch this?! Well....im sorry....thats my fault, this is america.... 90% of Americans are fucking retarded and have an IQ lower then their shoe size. So if its on TV people will watch it.....i just dont fall into the 90% i fall into the 10%, and if your reading this....im putting YOU into the 10% as well cuz you prolly know me perosnally and have common sense ;-)
Monday, May 25, 2009
New NBA Rules*
What's up bloggers. I'm really pissed off so I figure Ill write a blog while I lie in bed here writing this on my BlackBerry. Yes that's correct. I don't need a $3,000 Mac Book Pro, or sit out side a gay starbucks drinking a frappafuckachino while I think I look important on a laptop. No sir!! I'm in the dark doing it from a BlackBerry!!!
So I've been keeping up with the NBA eastern conference finals. Orlando and Cleveland. Both teams are very good, but Orlando is prolly the king of comebacks! And since I'm residing in Orlando, naturally ill be routing for them, and also cuz they are the underdog. There has been 3 games and orlando is ahead 2-1. If u watched any of those games...the officials have been calling the most asinine calls. Someone farts the wrong way, you'll get called for a technical foul. My condolences to Dwight Howard for refs calling ridiculous stuff on him. Guy coughs and is called for technical left and right. If your not familiar with NBA rules (and believe me I'm still learning..read on to find out new ones) , if u get 7 technical fouls (during a season but in this case the finals) u must sit out an entire game. Refs have called 5 technical bullshits in only THREE games on Howard!!! I really think someone payed off the refs so LeBron can play in the final game so NBA can promote him and make money the only way they know how: being greedy jew fuck faces! "Oh we can't have Dwight Howard play in the Finals..he plays on Orlando...pshhh orlando not a profitable team..fuck that!" Watching the officiating was like going to a "basketball school for referees" and these guys where officiating their very 1st game for an elementary school. Christ I could have put ray charles and stevie wonder in these games and they could have done better job then these clowns!!! I'm not really sure they fully understood the game of "basketball". maybe they thought they where going to ref an ice hockey game? Or football? I'm not sure. Because 2 games ago a cat from clev. (After making his own shot) threw the basketball at dwight howard's back when he wasn't looking. I don't care if u play basketball in iraq, underground in a cave with a hoop...that's a technical!! For some reason "no one saw what happened" or maybe they thought it was an "incomplete pass, turnover!" I also didn't know that if your name is LeBron James you where aloud to swap away a ball just before it falls into the hoop. Maybe cuz he wears "23" you are allowed to do what ever u want. Along with lebran missing a layup, then after he misses we call the foul. That's a new one as well. I also discovered a new rule in basketball....that ONLY if ur name is Dwight Howard if u block shots without touching a player while behind the 3pt line and hitting only the ball....u can be called for a foul...and LeBron gets 3 free shots. I'm ALSO learning another cool rule that accidentally elbowing another player in the face while in MID-AIR, is an intentional flagrant 2...then put down to intentional flagrant 1 after reviewing the replay. I felt bad for the cat on Cleveland but....umm wow really?? "Intentional" while in mid air!!?? AFTER reviewing the play???? Did those guys see what WE saw? Did the goofy computer tech add CGI at the last minute?? There might also be a new rule where players who play on Cleveland are allowed to take THREE steps from above the key while holding the ball going to the hoop...I'm not 100% on that one but am double checking my sources. Alright. I've been watching basketball since I was like 7.......I've never seen so much bull shit in only 3 games. The NBA wants to keep Dwight Howard off the court as much as possible. So I predict in game 4 thell call 2 more technical fouls so he can sit out for the entire game 5. Lebron will fake like he was hit in the face and the refs will buy into it like a rich stupid fuck tourist! Then I'm sure they'll make up some stupid crazy shit call where the old ass sport caster goes "ohh woww...I haven't seen that called since '63 when (insert name u haven't heard in ages here) was playing!! I didn't know that was still in the rule book!!" And then you'll see in on sports center for like 3 weeks!! Or maybe you won't cuz the NBA will pay off Stuart Scott not to make any wise cracking jokes! In any case, I really hope the "officials" in the next game take their thongs out of their asses, put on their Larry King seeing glasses and throw away the money that was given too them and ref a FAIR GAME. Let's just once pretend LeBron James wasn't giving you falatio before the game!! Call me old fashon but I'd like to see a fair game without the magic working 50X's harder just to get around 658052 terrible calls!!! I'm pretty sure LeBran doesn't go into the locker room crying like a Kobe (my new word for bitch) after losing a game. LeBron is a mild manner cat, its not like he's gunna start attacking people just cuz he LOST coughKOBEcough. Sorry had to clear my congested throat. Gotta get that checked. Well I think that pretty much does it for this rant/blog/story/news update. Until next time, u might just have yourself thinking: "NBA, Where Ridiculous Happens!"
So I've been keeping up with the NBA eastern conference finals. Orlando and Cleveland. Both teams are very good, but Orlando is prolly the king of comebacks! And since I'm residing in Orlando, naturally ill be routing for them, and also cuz they are the underdog. There has been 3 games and orlando is ahead 2-1. If u watched any of those games...the officials have been calling the most asinine calls. Someone farts the wrong way, you'll get called for a technical foul. My condolences to Dwight Howard for refs calling ridiculous stuff on him. Guy coughs and is called for technical left and right. If your not familiar with NBA rules (and believe me I'm still learning..read on to find out new ones) , if u get 7 technical fouls (during a season but in this case the finals) u must sit out an entire game. Refs have called 5 technical bullshits in only THREE games on Howard!!! I really think someone payed off the refs so LeBron can play in the final game so NBA can promote him and make money the only way they know how: being greedy jew fuck faces! "Oh we can't have Dwight Howard play in the Finals..he plays on Orlando...pshhh orlando not a profitable team..fuck that!" Watching the officiating was like going to a "basketball school for referees" and these guys where officiating their very 1st game for an elementary school. Christ I could have put ray charles and stevie wonder in these games and they could have done better job then these clowns!!! I'm not really sure they fully understood the game of "basketball". maybe they thought they where going to ref an ice hockey game? Or football? I'm not sure. Because 2 games ago a cat from clev. (After making his own shot) threw the basketball at dwight howard's back when he wasn't looking. I don't care if u play basketball in iraq, underground in a cave with a hoop...that's a technical!! For some reason "no one saw what happened" or maybe they thought it was an "incomplete pass, turnover!" I also didn't know that if your name is LeBron James you where aloud to swap away a ball just before it falls into the hoop. Maybe cuz he wears "23" you are allowed to do what ever u want. Along with lebran missing a layup, then after he misses we call the foul. That's a new one as well. I also discovered a new rule in basketball....that ONLY if ur name is Dwight Howard if u block shots without touching a player while behind the 3pt line and hitting only the ball....u can be called for a foul...and LeBron gets 3 free shots. I'm ALSO learning another cool rule that accidentally elbowing another player in the face while in MID-AIR, is an intentional flagrant 2...then put down to intentional flagrant 1 after reviewing the replay. I felt bad for the cat on Cleveland but....umm wow really?? "Intentional" while in mid air!!?? AFTER reviewing the play???? Did those guys see what WE saw? Did the goofy computer tech add CGI at the last minute?? There might also be a new rule where players who play on Cleveland are allowed to take THREE steps from above the key while holding the ball going to the hoop...I'm not 100% on that one but am double checking my sources. Alright. I've been watching basketball since I was like 7.......I've never seen so much bull shit in only 3 games. The NBA wants to keep Dwight Howard off the court as much as possible. So I predict in game 4 thell call 2 more technical fouls so he can sit out for the entire game 5. Lebron will fake like he was hit in the face and the refs will buy into it like a rich stupid fuck tourist! Then I'm sure they'll make up some stupid crazy shit call where the old ass sport caster goes "ohh woww...I haven't seen that called since '63 when (insert name u haven't heard in ages here) was playing!! I didn't know that was still in the rule book!!" And then you'll see in on sports center for like 3 weeks!! Or maybe you won't cuz the NBA will pay off Stuart Scott not to make any wise cracking jokes! In any case, I really hope the "officials" in the next game take their thongs out of their asses, put on their Larry King seeing glasses and throw away the money that was given too them and ref a FAIR GAME. Let's just once pretend LeBron James wasn't giving you falatio before the game!! Call me old fashon but I'd like to see a fair game without the magic working 50X's harder just to get around 658052 terrible calls!!! I'm pretty sure LeBran doesn't go into the locker room crying like a Kobe (my new word for bitch) after losing a game. LeBron is a mild manner cat, its not like he's gunna start attacking people just cuz he LOST coughKOBEcough. Sorry had to clear my congested throat. Gotta get that checked. Well I think that pretty much does it for this rant/blog/story/news update. Until next time, u might just have yourself thinking: "NBA, Where Ridiculous Happens!"
Monday, May 4, 2009
The Way of My Life
Ok, this might shock some people or even might make some people look at me differently. But I wrote the following in about an hour or so. Its just what I have going thru and I chose to express myself this way, and not just a rant. So here it is, enjoy and make some comments either at the bottom or on facebook to tell me what u thought.
can't understand the reality of my life, just don't wanna put down this jagged ass knife, can't even find me a nice girl to make my wife. As I look through the other side of this window pane, all I feel is sadness and pain, everyday seems like clouds of rain. Livin this way makes me go really insane. When I look into the future I never picture success, because all my life I've been a damn mess.
Even when I try really hard i just don't seem to progress.
Every year goes by like hands on a clock,
You just cant live life as if it were a boardwalk.
Ten years just went by like a speedin car
I feel that my life is just sub par
No one really gives a damn if you too go far
I wish I could go back to when I was a child
Back when I was really wild
A time when things were a lot more carefree
When I didn't care about a college degree
I'm talkin about no cell phone calls and pages
Back when people slaved for minimum wages
When I thought being 30 wasn't for ages
Now its twenty oh nine
And I'm 27 and almost past my prime
Things seem really bad to where I can't even save a dime
All I can do is sit here wasting time while I put out another rhyme.
When I come to reality it sure is scary
Its like the 2000 election and results may vary.
I wake up in the morning just like everyone else does
Only problem is that I don't seem to go anywhere and my life is sittin here on pause.
I don't think its normal to think about death every single day
Or if I killed myself what people would say
Some think kurt cobaine had the wrong answer to the question
But is not caring if you die a sad impression?
Or maybe its just a crazy obsession.
Last time I was happy it was 2003
And ryan seacrest was new to TV
Things for me just went to hell after that
I just went nowhere in no time flat
I drank more then a kid who joined a frat
Downing drinks made life temporarily great,
Little did I know it could decide my fate.
Every job I've had I've been fired from
DUIs and fuckin random girls may seem dumb
But back then I was walkin to the beat of a different drum.
I would drink myself until my whole body was numb
Still I couldn't make enough money to even support a bum.
I knew I couldn't live like this very long,
So I packed all my shit cuz I didn't belong
Moved to the good ol sunshine state
A place where I could start a clean slate
I found myself a nice job and a place to call my own, a place as big as the georgia dome.
I made a few friends but nothing like the ones I had at home.
3 years later I'm back at square one
No job, and nothin I do is any fun.
Some people think I'm silly
But I really wanna move back with my boys in philly.
I'd rather go back to the good ol days
Drinkin beers on weekends and catchin some rays.
Not being thousands of miles from people who care, cuz finding friends like I have is pretty damn rare.
If I had only one goal, it would be to find myself real happiness inside my own soul.
can't understand the reality of my life, just don't wanna put down this jagged ass knife, can't even find me a nice girl to make my wife. As I look through the other side of this window pane, all I feel is sadness and pain, everyday seems like clouds of rain. Livin this way makes me go really insane. When I look into the future I never picture success, because all my life I've been a damn mess.
Even when I try really hard i just don't seem to progress.
Every year goes by like hands on a clock,
You just cant live life as if it were a boardwalk.
Ten years just went by like a speedin car
I feel that my life is just sub par
No one really gives a damn if you too go far
I wish I could go back to when I was a child
Back when I was really wild
A time when things were a lot more carefree
When I didn't care about a college degree
I'm talkin about no cell phone calls and pages
Back when people slaved for minimum wages
When I thought being 30 wasn't for ages
Now its twenty oh nine
And I'm 27 and almost past my prime
Things seem really bad to where I can't even save a dime
All I can do is sit here wasting time while I put out another rhyme.
When I come to reality it sure is scary
Its like the 2000 election and results may vary.
I wake up in the morning just like everyone else does
Only problem is that I don't seem to go anywhere and my life is sittin here on pause.
I don't think its normal to think about death every single day
Or if I killed myself what people would say
Some think kurt cobaine had the wrong answer to the question
But is not caring if you die a sad impression?
Or maybe its just a crazy obsession.
Last time I was happy it was 2003
And ryan seacrest was new to TV
Things for me just went to hell after that
I just went nowhere in no time flat
I drank more then a kid who joined a frat
Downing drinks made life temporarily great,
Little did I know it could decide my fate.
Every job I've had I've been fired from
DUIs and fuckin random girls may seem dumb
But back then I was walkin to the beat of a different drum.
I would drink myself until my whole body was numb
Still I couldn't make enough money to even support a bum.
I knew I couldn't live like this very long,
So I packed all my shit cuz I didn't belong
Moved to the good ol sunshine state
A place where I could start a clean slate
I found myself a nice job and a place to call my own, a place as big as the georgia dome.
I made a few friends but nothing like the ones I had at home.
3 years later I'm back at square one
No job, and nothin I do is any fun.
Some people think I'm silly
But I really wanna move back with my boys in philly.
I'd rather go back to the good ol days
Drinkin beers on weekends and catchin some rays.
Not being thousands of miles from people who care, cuz finding friends like I have is pretty damn rare.
If I had only one goal, it would be to find myself real happiness inside my own soul.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
I Remember......
Alright boys n girls this isnt going to be my traditional blog, in fact you wont even see ONE CURSE WORD here....yes REALLY! This is not going to be about "my crazy life" and this posting actually has nothing to do with me being mad ticked off or even anything to do with me. I wrote the following based on what it was like to live back in the good old days and comparing it to what things are like now......and this is why i chose the title "I Remember" so you can go back to when things where simple and care free. So here you are, enjoy and reminisce:
Alright everyone take a look over here
Stand up and put down your favorite mug of beer.
I'm gunna take u back to the good ol days
Back when u were Rockin leather jackets like happy days,
And players hit real home runs like willie mays
I Remember when there was no CGI
Bad guys got away scott free without CSI
Watchin miami vice after dinner eatin,
Then learned a lesson from alex p keaten
I remember Disney made good flicks like aladin and the lion king
No american idol where everyone thinks they can sing
TV was actually worth your prime time
And it was cool to get on nickelodeon for that gooey green slime
Movie effects where done very poorly
But everyone wanted to be like funny cop axel foley
U didn't wanna be runnin from COPS singin BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS...
Less u thought they where will smith n martin lawrence from BAD BOYS
You went to bed with a buddy named glow bug
U didn't have baggy pants wantin to be a hardcore thug
Because you had Teddy Ruxpin and lite bright
tellin girls "come dream with me tonight"
Everyone had the famous block called lego
And the hot phrase was "hey lego my ego"
Ill even take u back to the after school snack
Twinkies and the round fruit roll ups
Drinkin kool aid outta party cups
Remember JD Roth on Fun House,
And the American Tail of a talkin mouse?
Well go back in doc browns time machine
Fighting crime like a mutant teen
And wantin to paint your face green
I liked the days of no 360 or PS3
U in cally and I'm in PA!?
Dag dude, aint no way that we can play
You had to invite your friend over the traditional way!
If u got kids u always have to say
"Well back in my day.."
If you where rich u had the Zack Morris cell phone
And no one had the hottest ring tone
If u wanted to hook up u actually had to have game and meet at your place
No options to just go on myspace
And end up stranded on 1st base
Cuz her picture wasn't even her real face!
Let's fast forward to the current race
High School reunions are going to be obsolete,
Old bully from high school finds u on facebook, just hit delete.
Aint no real reason to actually meet!
iphones and blackberrys make everything a lot more easy
But at the same time can make a grown man sleazy
Like textin teens tryin to get em out they dress
Amazing how u can get out of a traffic mess,
Break out that trusty slick GPS
type in the address u even get corrections
No need to ask pizan for bad directions!
Blockbuster is doing some shady tricks
Gettin put outta business by online place called Netflix
Watch the latest movie with 3 easy clicks
Would u like to show an old friend a picture?
No problem, just upload it to a site named Flickr
This option makes it a heck of a lot quicker
You just found out your boss is making u work late and can't watch your favorite tv show,
not a problem cuz that's why someone invented TiVo
Enabling you to watch prime time on your own dime.
Ghotbusters used to be the best exterminator,
Now california has its own terminator
Unfortunately this aint the movies and there is no john McClain
Twin Towers got hit, and thousands of people where slain,
Friends and families couldn’t deal with the suffer and pain
Innocent people saying their last words on that airplane
People still have bumper stickers that say I Remember
For that tragic day back in September
I remember when the president had no concept of politics,
Because this entire country has fell like a ton of bricks
We now have a guy who can finally understand,
Hopefully tryin to get the terrible back in hand
Its like the great depression with this economy,
People with no work is a crazy tragedy.
Even people who do have great jobs,
Might end up in that infamous “meeting with the bobs”
And it seems heaven sent we now have a black president..... who's making very smart CHANGES and REARANGES
Even Back in '96 tupac said he wanted "changes"
"We gotta make a change. Its time for us as a people to start makin some changes. let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live, and let's change the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't workin so its on us to do what we gotta do...to survive "
I don’t see how a guy named weezy calls himself “the best rapper alive”
This guy is worse then a bad skit on Saturday Night Live.
I remember when Hip-hop had true meaning and you could always relate
Id rather not listen to anything in its current state
I hope you rappers go away faster then an episode of elimidate.
I didnt write this to be famous but more to inspire
Not trying to be big and build an empire.
Just wanna be remembered for something before i can retire.
And just before I head to the big place in the sky,
Just want to let everyone know even they can get a good piece of the pie.
All you have to do is work hard, and do the best you can and give it a try.
There it is. I hope people can keep the spirit of "i remember" alive. If you liked what you read and thought i was good...please give me your input, i greatly appreciate it. THANKS!!!
Alright everyone take a look over here
Stand up and put down your favorite mug of beer.
I'm gunna take u back to the good ol days
Back when u were Rockin leather jackets like happy days,
And players hit real home runs like willie mays
I Remember when there was no CGI
Bad guys got away scott free without CSI
Watchin miami vice after dinner eatin,
Then learned a lesson from alex p keaten
I remember Disney made good flicks like aladin and the lion king
No american idol where everyone thinks they can sing
TV was actually worth your prime time
And it was cool to get on nickelodeon for that gooey green slime
Movie effects where done very poorly
But everyone wanted to be like funny cop axel foley
U didn't wanna be runnin from COPS singin BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS...
Less u thought they where will smith n martin lawrence from BAD BOYS
You went to bed with a buddy named glow bug
U didn't have baggy pants wantin to be a hardcore thug
Because you had Teddy Ruxpin and lite bright
tellin girls "come dream with me tonight"
Everyone had the famous block called lego
And the hot phrase was "hey lego my ego"
Ill even take u back to the after school snack
Twinkies and the round fruit roll ups
Drinkin kool aid outta party cups
Remember JD Roth on Fun House,
And the American Tail of a talkin mouse?
Well go back in doc browns time machine
Fighting crime like a mutant teen
And wantin to paint your face green
I liked the days of no 360 or PS3
U in cally and I'm in PA!?
Dag dude, aint no way that we can play
You had to invite your friend over the traditional way!
If u got kids u always have to say
"Well back in my day.."
If you where rich u had the Zack Morris cell phone
And no one had the hottest ring tone
If u wanted to hook up u actually had to have game and meet at your place
No options to just go on myspace
And end up stranded on 1st base
Cuz her picture wasn't even her real face!
Let's fast forward to the current race
High School reunions are going to be obsolete,
Old bully from high school finds u on facebook, just hit delete.
Aint no real reason to actually meet!
iphones and blackberrys make everything a lot more easy
But at the same time can make a grown man sleazy
Like textin teens tryin to get em out they dress
Amazing how u can get out of a traffic mess,
Break out that trusty slick GPS
type in the address u even get corrections
No need to ask pizan for bad directions!
Blockbuster is doing some shady tricks
Gettin put outta business by online place called Netflix
Watch the latest movie with 3 easy clicks
Would u like to show an old friend a picture?
No problem, just upload it to a site named Flickr
This option makes it a heck of a lot quicker
You just found out your boss is making u work late and can't watch your favorite tv show,
not a problem cuz that's why someone invented TiVo
Enabling you to watch prime time on your own dime.
Ghotbusters used to be the best exterminator,
Now california has its own terminator
Unfortunately this aint the movies and there is no john McClain
Twin Towers got hit, and thousands of people where slain,
Friends and families couldn’t deal with the suffer and pain
Innocent people saying their last words on that airplane
People still have bumper stickers that say I Remember
For that tragic day back in September
I remember when the president had no concept of politics,
Because this entire country has fell like a ton of bricks
We now have a guy who can finally understand,
Hopefully tryin to get the terrible back in hand
Its like the great depression with this economy,
People with no work is a crazy tragedy.
Even people who do have great jobs,
Might end up in that infamous “meeting with the bobs”
And it seems heaven sent we now have a black president..... who's making very smart CHANGES and REARANGES
Even Back in '96 tupac said he wanted "changes"
"We gotta make a change. Its time for us as a people to start makin some changes. let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live, and let's change the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't workin so its on us to do what we gotta do...to survive "
I don’t see how a guy named weezy calls himself “the best rapper alive”
This guy is worse then a bad skit on Saturday Night Live.
I remember when Hip-hop had true meaning and you could always relate
Id rather not listen to anything in its current state
I hope you rappers go away faster then an episode of elimidate.
I didnt write this to be famous but more to inspire
Not trying to be big and build an empire.
Just wanna be remembered for something before i can retire.
And just before I head to the big place in the sky,
Just want to let everyone know even they can get a good piece of the pie.
All you have to do is work hard, and do the best you can and give it a try.
There it is. I hope people can keep the spirit of "i remember" alive. If you liked what you read and thought i was good...please give me your input, i greatly appreciate it. THANKS!!!
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